The Illusion Of Control: Friends Liking Friends
For most of my life, I have wanted people I like to like each other. I am starting to learn to let this illusion go.
I recently went against my newly formed rule and was again shown how what I want and expect doesn’t happen in real life as it did in my head.
It was very interesting having so many friends that I love come to the Attract Wealth Seminar.
I expected certain people to really connect. Many did. And there were a few I didn’t expect to connect who made lifelong friendships happen instantaneously.
On the outside, I did my best to keep everyone happy with each other. On the inside I was having a bit of fun with how far off I was on some of these connections, and I was tickled that others bonded so well.
Ten years ago, I would have been devastated if some people hadn’t gotten along. Today, however, I get to examine what is going on inside of me and learn about how and why I project these illusions on myself.
More importantly, I learn about my patterns Once I see my patterns, I am not so much at their mercy. I still might act them out, but now I can at least see them and not be caught up in thinking that my patterns ARE me.
I am not my patterns, and neither are you. We are bigger than that.
Seeing my patterns is one of the biggest gifts I can get in life. Ten years ago, I would have hated to see what I see now. Now, I look for people who can introduce me to my patterns — both good and bad, right and wrong.
Get some friends from different backgrounds together and watch what happens in front of you. Notice the feelings you get in your body. Remember what you expected to happen, and notice what really does happen. You will learn, grow, and get energy from it.
It is a different kind of energy, yet similar, to the energy people get from watching two sports teams compete for the first time. What will happen?
Remember the Pleasure of Uncertainty entry a few days ago?
I will still bring friends together, but without nearly as much expectation. In the future, I would like to bring them together to learn about my patterns and theirs while we all meet.
Letting go of trying to get the approval of those closest to us is often one of the hardest things to do. So often we let what others will think of us or who we really are hold us back. I have recently been working on this part of myself as well so I can definitely relate. Seeking approval first will always hold us back from being our truest self.
Even Jesus was ridiculed and despised by his own and yet it didn’t stop him. And as Shakepeare said, “This above all: to thine own self be true”