A couple of years ago, I did some coaching work with a very amazing woman living in the UK. She was Harvard educated and was working at a world-class university.
She also had cancer, and I was helping her work through some of the issues that came up around her work and the challenges of her disease.
About a month ago, she contacted me and wanted to do more work together. She didn’t have a specific issue in mind, she just wanted to do more work. She was told she had about a year to live, and she had some specific things she wanted to give the world as her legacy before she “went home.”
I received an email last week that she had passed on unexpectedly.
I immediately started thinking about all she had hoped to do, how she had asked me to work with her, and the loss of opportunity that we all have in our lives from her leaving our world too soon.
It was one of many events in the last few weeks that has made me rethink my work.
You see, I’ve prided myself on doing quick sessions with folks and getting them to a place of being able to change quickly. When I first started in NLP that was one of the biggest draws for me to get involved was how fast it worked. I got caught up in that paradigm for 27 years.
Since it was one of the first beliefs I adopted with NLP, it was pretty deep in my unconscious. I never really looked at it again. I just accepted it.
In the last couple of years or so, I have worked with folks who wanted more sessions with me over a longer timeframe. I didn’t want to do it because I was under a hidden belief system that I should only have to work with people once or twice and I would move on to another client.
My client in the U.K. was one of them.
I’d often wonder how people were doing after their sessions. And I’d often check in with them.
But then I wondered… was I short changing people in not working with them for a longer period of time?
Was I depriving them of the depth I could offer by working with them on more issues over a longer period of time?
You see, I myself have used coaches throughout my life. And I really liked the fact that I could dive into a coaching session quickly. My coach KNEW me. We could dive deeper into issues because we had already established a relationship. My coaches KNOW me. They know my patterns, my issues, and my goals.
I also know and trust them at a deep level, allowing me to open up to deep issues much more freely.
I asked myself if I was denying my clients this level of coaching experience. I realized that I was.
Now, some people really just want a quick fix. That fit in very well with my beliefs, and I enjoyed giving them tools to quickly get past the issue. It worked, and my coaching practice has thrived on those types of clients. But a lot of clients were not in a hurry and asked me to help them grow over a period of time. I wasn’t open to engaging on that level, so I wasn’t exploring that type of coaching relationship with them.
Right after I found out that my client had passed, I was on a coaching training call with my long-term mentor, John Overdurf. Yes, even though I coach others regularly, I still participate in coaching training regularly to always improve my coaching skills.
We were discussing a live coaching session we had just heard between two other call participants. One played coach and the other participant played client.
I knew both people, so I had previous experience with their patterns and coaching styles. What impressed me about this particular call was how much information from previous coaching calls was coming forward in the session.
We had all done so much coaching together (and we were together in Phoenix last May for 10 days for John Overdurf’s Training Trances) that we started to pick up on what worked for each of us.
The participants used that learning and applied it during the call for a very quick, easy, and powerfully effective coaching session.
I mention my observation to John during the call. We talked about long-term coaching and the benefits of a deeper relationship between coach and client.
One thing he mentioned change my mind about coaching completely.
He said this client had talked to him about the pleasure she had being part of her growth and evolution over time.
Like a puzzle piece… it fit perfectly into place for me. It felt so good to consider this way of looking at it.
John said, “Well, isn’t that what we do as friends, parents, partners, or business relationships?”
And he’s right. And this is what I *really* want to do.
It’s what I wish I had done with my client from the UK who has now passed away.
And it’s what I really would like to do with you.
I’d like a deepening of our relationship.
Yes, you. And me.
I’d like to work with you over time. I’d like to deepen our friendship. And I’d like to watch how you grow, evolve, and experience greater success in your life. Your success and happiness adds a depth of quality in my life.
So, this is where I am taking my business.
I’m changing my pricing structure to support this decision, but I haven’t yet decided what that’s going to be.
This is a personal decision, not necessarily a business decision. Though my business will change somewhat to reflect where I am going as a person.
If you would like to join me on this very personal journey, let me know.
What is possible for you? Let’s find out.