I’m Kathy, and I’m Mark’s girlfriend. I’ve been the one writing the newsletters, after Mark gives me a topic area to write about. For this newsletter, Mark has asked me to write about what it’s like being in relationship with him. I found that interesting timing-wise, because as of this month, it’s been a year since we first met.
Mark’s Amazing Gift
We met last November at Joe Vitale’s Beyond Manifestation event here in Austin. I was lucky enough to end up in a mastermind group of 7 individuals late that Saturday night with Mark and 5 other people. Within a few hours, Mark went through a group of people and asked them a relatively simple question: “what do you want.” One of the participants, now one of my friends, went from being quiet, shy and reserved into warmth, softness, and peacefulness. I was amazed at his ability to get to the core of people’s issues and help them move beyond it. It was like he had x-ray vision, looking beneath the words people spoke and uncovering the true motivations, desires, hopes, and fears underneath the words.
It was… amazing. Astounding. I knew I had to get to know this guy better. (Didn’t think I was going to fall in love and move to Austin with him, but I am grateful I did. What an incredible experience it has been.)
I’ve seen him work with people many times in the past year, all with amazing results. And, I’ve seen his gift come out in other ways, sometimes with results that have been hard to handle.
Mark’s gift is that he is able to find and expose areas in which people need healing. We all have these parts, and healing them so that we can reconnect to a deeper part of ourselves is part of why we live in physical reality. And Mark is able to peel away those layers of protection we have placed over our broken parts and expose them to the light. Sometimes it’s actual coaching sessions, sometimes it’s just a deep conversation with someone. But those people will walk away from those sessions and conversations exposed in a way they’ve never experienced before. Most people are able to take that exposure and see their unconscious patterns of defense systems in a new light. They’re able to see how and why they’ve developed elaborate defense mechanisms and shed them. Mark is brilliant at helping people navigate through this change.
The Gift as a Curse
I joked with him that his gift is also a curse. I have seen situations in which Mark exposes these parts in other people where it has backfired on him. Sometimes people walk away feeling so exposed to their unconscious patterns and defenses, their conscious minds can’t handle it. They then begin projecting hurt and violation on him, usually as a justification for why they can’t release the defense mechanisms they’ve had for so very long. They’re so afraid, so scared, they just can’t let go of the defense mechanism.
They then blame Mark for anything that they can come up with. Mark ends up wondering how his attempts at helping someone heal turn into such pain for them. Ideally, Mark would be able to see their projection immediately for what it is and release it. But this guy has the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met, and he cannot stand the thought that he’s caused someone else to feel pain… even if that pain in and of itself is a message for them to heal. I can see how hard that is for him; it’s hard work he’s been chosen to do.
Experiencing the “Gift” (and the Curse)
It happens to me, too, often when I least expect it. Sometimes I get it immediately, move past it, and it opens up a whole new world of experience for me. Mark has taught me to go deep within myself and find my true happiness, and he’s taught me how to love myself. But I still have defense mechanisms in place, erected to protect myself.
One of my primary issues is that I attach my self worth to my work and how I serve others through what I do. In the past year, I’ve been doing a lot of work for Mark. And here’s where my defenses come to light. I can’t do it all. I can’t run two businesses, take care of a 6 year old, and take care of a household. I’ve got to start hiring out more of my work and Mark’s work and concentrate on the projects we’ve discussed, including two books. Mark sees me frantically trying to get it all done and keep all of my balls up in the air, and he doesn’t want to see me stressed out. So, he’s asked me to offload some work on others. Finally, he said he was going to start taking back some of the work he’s asked me to do.
Guess how I reacted. If I attach my self worth to my work, and he takes away my work, it’s worse than being fired. He’s taking away my value, my self esteem, and to me, it feels like he’s telling me I’m not good enough. Double hard when the person saying that is the man you’re in love with. Holy cow does that hurt. No matter how many times he told me that he was only trying to make my life easier, I felt rejected, hurt, and devalued. I was angry at him, horribly so. Because in the midst of the emotion, I felt like he was doing something horribly egregious to me.
Without even trying, Mark exposed my defense mechanisms.
Why Go Through Exposure?
Looking at your defense mechanisms is not easy. It’s entirely difficult, painful, and often impossible to do alone. I’m lucky to have a big-hearted man beside me to encourage me to grow. I couldn’t do it without him. And sometimes it’s so hard I wonder why in the world I chose this experience knowing that he’d expose my true self and make me own it.
Our defense mechanisms hold us back. In my example, the more I attach my self worth to my work, the more I hold myself back. With that belief system comes many ancillary beliefs of self worth, and I hold myself back from all that I deserve. I suffer through endless days of sometimes unfulfilling work because I believe I have to in order to be appreciated, in order to be loved. I stop myself from doing what I really love, which is where my real power lies.
The fact of the matter is, I cannot experience all of the abundance, happiness, and contentment that the universe has to offer because I am not in a position where I am giving all of the gifts I have been given. And the thing is, I really want to. I really want to spend my time writing and giving my gifts. It’s my inspiration, it brings me joy, and it makes me happy. But until I get clear, until I claim my birthright through claiming my own gifts, I’m not clear.
And if you’re not clear, it’s like boulders in the stream.
Once you’re clear, then it opens up new worlds for you.
How to Get Clear
If you’re not doing what you want to do, if you’re not experiencing what you want, you have to get clear. Dr. Joe Vitale’s new book The Key is a great resource for asking hard questions about the beliefs and defense mechanisms you have in place. But you don’t even have to do it consciously. The easy way is to start addressing your unconscious and begin clearing the boulders you don’t even know are there. The Subliminal Manifestation DVDs are a great start for that.
Mark and Joe are getting the “Wealth” Subliminal Manifestation DVD ready now. Mark is busy in the studio editing the videos to ensure that this DVD is the best yet. But here’s the key… until you clear yourself of unconscious patterns, those boulders in the stream will keep the ever-present universal abundance from you. We’ll let you know when the DVD is ready.
The fascinating thing is that the exposure I went through with Mark prepared me for something bigger. When I watched a portion of the DVD the other night, I got it. His exposure of my defense mechanisms were necessary for me to get an important message through watching the DVD. The bigger question isn’t how I handle my work… the question is, how do I define success? How do I define wealth? So many intuitions came to me while watching the DVD about what I need to do in order to prepare myself for the next stage of my life.
Another way to get clear is to have a coaching session with Mark, the man with x-ray vision. He’ll help you see your unconscious patterns in a way you’ve never seen before, and he’ll coach you through releasing them. Mark has a number of different coaching options available, either by telephone, in person, or weekend in-depth one-on-one coaching retreats. If you want more information on Mark’s coaching availability, reply to this email and I can give you more information.